Category Archives: Uncategorized

From someone I’ve known for years, Jeff Kufalk.
I agree with everything he’s written below.

Ladies & Gentlemen of the jury in the court of Public Opinion, I would like to take a long moment to explain a viewpoint I have in order to clear any misconceptions you may get from me from any posted links, rants or associations.

The subject at hand: Marijuana legalization, and my support of such.

My manifesto here, as it has become, is my opinion based on information I’ve found after asking a lot of questions and doing some lengthy digging. I don’t want you to take my word as “gospel” so to speak, but rather use it as a footstep for your own fact-finding.

First off, you must understand that my support for the legalization of marijuana is solely limited to that. I’m supporting a legalization effort, and awareness of such. I’m not condoning any illegal use/misuse in any way, nor am I suggesting that I use/don’t use in any way because that’s not the point. What I am saying is that I believe the laws around marijuana need to be changed.

My fellow citizens, as a population of a nation, we have been LIED to. We have been made to fear something with absolutely no basis for this fear. We (all) additionally pay astronomical amounts of money each year and ruin hundreds of thousands of lives needlessly, all while blindly ignoring facts, or living without the proper knowledge as to the facts of marijuana.

The rest of the world is slowly waking up regarding the true benefits and truth behind the myths of marijuana. I stand hopeful that America can do the same.

I could write novels reiterating information I’ve read over the last year regarding marijuana from a recreational and medicinal usage standpoint, and hemp (not to be confused with something that is going to get you high) as an industrial product, but I’ll simply post a few links here and encourage you to enlighten yourself should you be interested.

Industrial hemp:

http://naihc.org/hemp-information/286-hemp-facts

General marijuana facts:

http://norml.org/

http://www.mpp.org

(please don’t confine your education to the popular links above, but they are good starting points)

What are my pet-peeves & what is driving me to this?

1. Federal laws & State laws directly conflict & contradict each other. Federally, marijuana is illegal. Period. End of story. It is federally classified as a Schedule I drug next to LSD, Meth, Heroin and a whole host of other nasty drugs, all of which have “no known medical uses” (which is obviously untrue for marijuana based on the government synthesizing their own version of it for medical use, but I digress to another tangent.). Interestingly enough, among less restrictive Schedule II drugs, you’ll find cocaine, morphine, opium and much more. Anyhow, back to my point… Federal laws trump State laws. At the moment I write this, 16 states + Washington DC have medical marijuana laws which allow doctors to prescribe marijuana to patients, and (somewhat) removes patients from prosecution for possession and use at a state level. HOWEVER, since it’s still Federally illegal, the DEA (or any other Federal agency) can, at any moment, arrest and prosecute ANYONE using, growing, selling, distributing marijuana, even in states that say it’s legal. To put this ridiculousness into perspective, imagine some guy from across town, coming over to your house, kicking down your door and grounding your kids for watching spongebob because he doesn’t think they should; yet you find it perfectly acceptable in your own home… Crazy eh?

2. Marijuana has repeatedly been classified as “less dangerous” than Alcohol and Tobacco by multiple agencies (private & govt) around the world (and when you go back to the Sched I, Sched II classifications above it’s just mind boggling). Both alcohol and tobacco are legal, readily available and widely used. From multiple sources and studies, roughly 50,000 people die annually from alcohol poisoning (we won’t go into “alcohol related” deaths, just looking at toxicity). Over 400,000 people die each year from smoking tobacco. Yet marijuana has been proven to be non-toxic. Yes, that’s right all you “drugs will kill you” educated folks, you literally CANNOT OVERDOSE on marijuana! There has not been a single recorded death from a marijuana overdose. However, there have been multiple deaths from Marinol, which is a synthesized version of marijuana originally patented by the US Govt (and later sold) but remains the only FDA approved THC based painkiller (which is quite interesting since sched I drugs such as marijuana have “no know medical uses”).

3. Prescription painkillers currently available, used for those who have debilitating long-term pain are some of the absolute worst things you can put in your body. Many of them have ravaging long-term use side-effects which are simply not present in marijuana. More importantly, the addiction rate/probability is also astronomical in currently available prescription painkillers where studies have continually failed to prove addictive properties with marijuana. Here’s the big catch. When you start doing research on this you will see “Drug Treatment” statistics which are pretty high. However, what you don’t see is that the overwhelming majority (think high 90% rate) of those who “seek treatment” are not seeking it voluntarily and DO NOT NEED IT! They’re going because they were busted for simple possession and a court gave them the option of being “rehabilitated” or sitting in jail or a large fine. “Admit you’re a communist and we will let you go”.

4. Dollars and Sense – Not even looking at the larger “War on Drugs”, but simply focusing on Marijuana Prohibition, the US spends an estimated $10,000,000,000.00 (that’s $10 BILLION DOLLARS) annually, and incarcerates over 850,000 people annually (with this number going on the rise each year) on marijuana charges. Out of those, almost 90% are simple possession charges. If legalized, regulated and taxed similarly to alcohol, the estimates are a REVENUE of +$22 billion annually while eliminating $10B in costs. Which makes more sense? Locking almost 1 million people up mostly for a simple small possession which costs about $10k each basic booking, or generating revenue? This is a clear $32 BILLION dollar difference in the nation’s economy. All while reducing over-crowded prisons, making room for violent offenders whose terms are cut short to house a kid (generally a minority) who grew a plant or had a couple of ounces of marijuana. And yes astute reader, I played the ‘race game’. Facts are facts, and the facts are that blacks and latinos are arrested and charged far more often than white people are when it comes to marijuana possession/use, while the usage percentages are about the same.

5. “Marijuana, the Gateway Drug” – This cry has been used for decades to support the continued criminalization of marijuana. Let’s apply some logic to this, just simple logic… Marijuana is the 3rd largest “recreational drug” utilized in the country, right behind the top 2, alcohol & tobacco. It has been used by around 100 million people in this country. Most of the people who read this have at one point or another tried, used, or still use marijuana. Out of those, and you, how many have moved on to harder drugs? Where are the 100 million heroin/meth/cocaine/lsd users? They simply don’t exist. There is no correlation between the two. This has been statistically proven multiple times.

6. “Think of the Children” – Yes, let’s think of the children. Do we want to continue telling them that the world is flat?!? NO! We don’t! So we need to stop lying to them about marijuana, and start educating them about it. Further, when you start getting concerned about marijuana being available at the local dispensary, drug store, gas station, etc and worried about your kids getting their hands on it, think back to your school years, or simply ask your kids which is easier to get – Alcohol or Marijuana. The fact is, surveys continue to show that among middle and high-school aged kids, marijuana is easier for them to get than alcohol or tobacco. One can surmise that once removed from the ‘black market’, the availability to minors would be reduced significantly. Yet you’re naive to think you will ever remove availability to kids. Whether legal or not, regulated or not, kids can and will always get tobacco, alcohol and yes, marijuana and other drugs. However, when it’s at the top of the list of availability and the current policy is failing to provide any results, something should be done indeed. In general, people following the law have a reason to care who they’re selling to; people who are selling illegally don’t have such a vested interest in their clients.

Ultimately, I could go on for quite a while as to why I believe marijuana should be legalized and isn’t this “big bad demon” that ONDCP makes it out to be which, in turn we pass down through generations. However, I would rather simply encourage you to educate yourself on the matter and make your own decision. I offer up my point of view here to provide some context and perspective into my support for this cause.

Additionally, I figured I would put this out there so that you might better understand that I’m not some Harold & Kumar – Hollywood portrayed stoner who just wants to get baked; but rather consider that perhaps I may have family or friends with long-term health issues who would greatly benefit from medical marijuana. Or maybe I have people close to me who are discriminated against like they’re crack addicts for simply getting busted with a tiny amount of pot at one point or another in their lives.

If my support in this effort costs me your friendship, well, I’m sorry that we are at an impasse. If you happen to agree with me, I encourage you to get involved however you can in bringing marijuana legalization to light in your area. Even if it’s simply by reposting this manifesto to your friends and family.

With kind respect.

Jeffery Kufalk
www.cbr600rr.com

So, be offended if you must. That’s a good thing.

“….The idea that any kind of free society can be constructed in which people will never be offended or insulted is absurd. So too is the notion that people should have the right to call on the law to defend them against being offended or insulted. A fundamental decision needs to be made: do we want to live in a free society or not? Democracy is not a tea party where people sit around making polite conversation. In democracies people get extremely upset with each other. They argue vehemently against each other’s positions. (But they don’t shoot.)

At Cambridge University I was taught a laudable method of argument: you never personalise, but you have absolutely no respect for people’s opinions. You are never rude to the person, but you can be savagely rude about what the person thinks. That seems to me a crucial distinction: people must be protected from discrimination by virtue of their race, but you cannot ring-fence their ideas. The moment you say that any idea system is sacred, whether it’s a religious belief system or a secular ideology, the moment you declare a set of ideas to be immune from criticism, satire, derision, or contempt, freedom of thought becomes impossible….

People have the fundamental right to take an argument to the point where somebody is offended by what they say. It’s no trick to support the free speech of somebody you agree with or to whose opinion you are indifferent. The defence of free speech begins at the point when people say something you can’t stand. If you can’t defend their right to say it, then you don’t believe in free speech. You only believe in free speech as long as it doesn’t get up your nose. But free speech does get up people’s noses…..” –Salman Rushdie

It really is a good bar. The drunks are fun, the bartenders are friends, and there’s live music. Brad, you’re awesome, good job.

Every company should have a logo that fits their business.

I offer this:

My name is Dodge, but then you know that
It’s written on the chart there at the foot end of the bed
They think I’m blind, I can’t read it
I’ve read it every word, and every word it says is death
So, confession? – is that the reason that you came
Get it off my chest before I check out of the game
Since you mention it, well there’s thirteen things I’ll name
Thirteen crosses high above the cold Missouri waters

August ‘Forty-Nine, north Montana
The hottest day on record, the forest tinder dry
Lightning strikes in the mountains
I was crew chief at the jump base, I prepared the boys to fly
Pick the drop zone, C-47 comes in low
Feel the tap upon your leg that tells you go
See the circle of the fire down below
Fifteen of us dropped above the cold Missouri waters

Gauged the fire, I’d seen bigger
So I ordered them to sidehill and we’d fight it from below
We’d have our backs to the river
We’d have it licked by morning even if we took it slow
But the fire crowned, jumped the valley just ahead
There was no way down, headed for the ridge instead
Too big to fight it, we’d have to fight that slope instead
Flames one step behind above the cold Missouri waters

Sky had turned red, smoke was boiling
Two hundred yards to safety, death was fifty yards behind
I don’t know why I just thought it
I struck a match to waist high grass running out of time
Tried to tell them, Step into this fire I set
We can’t make it, this is the only chance you’ll get
But they cursed me, ran for the rocks above instead
I lay face down and prayed above the cold Missouri waters

And when I rose, like the phoenix
In that world reduced to ashes there were none but two survived
I stayed that night and one day after
Carried bodies to the river, wonder how I stayed alive
Thirteen stations of the cross to mark to their fall
I’ve had my say, I’ll confess to nothing more
I’ll join them now, because they left me long before
Thirteen crosses high above the cold Missouri waters
Thirteen crosses high above the cold Missouri shore

James Keelaghan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qomNoN7MCYg

Current view.

I don’t believe in much, but I believe in duct tape.

As far as I know, you’re not supposed to have holes in your bones.
Click to enlarge.

eh..

Yeah.

This is not tan. This is dirt. That is all.

Well, there ya go.

The (not shown) lack of articular cartilage is actually what’s preventing me from riding. The articular cartilage around the medial condyle” (the outside part of my femur) looks like this:

It’s thought that the hole in the cartilage is catching and rubbing and snagging on the meniscus and causing tears.
The body, it’s a complex machine.

Yeah, so not riding for two weeks is pissing me off and generally making me unpleasant to be around, hence my lack of posts here and to twitter.

That is all.

So you know those days when you wake up later than you had intended and have a meeting that you need to attend and you’re stumbling around your house trying to eat breakfast and realize you don’t have anything to eat so you eat half a cup of rice with mustard in it and then let the dog outside without feeding him and put wood into the woodstove and get into the shower and as soon as you get fully wet the dog starts freaking out and barking like a nutball which he never really does so you get out of the shower butt nekkid and go let him inside and flash the neighbor woman while you’re letting him inside and then go back to the shower without thinking about the gallon of water you’ve just dripped all over the hardwood floors and then drive like a maniac to work and play it cool like you intended to roll into work exactly 32 seconds before the meeting starts and then you spend the day dealing with paperwork which you’re evidently the only person in your entire office that has access to and you learn that your receptionist really is completely unaware that you can attach a document to an email and when you show her how to do it she kind of freaks out and you think she’s going to have some sort of coronary attack and you really can’t bring yourself to care because you’re pretty much at the end of your workday after being there for all of 4 hours and so you bail out early and while you’re driving home you’re thinking about the hour that you’re supposed to spend on the trainer because you can’t ride outside due to the roads being covered and snow and ice, but you still feel the need to train because you’re slow and want to ride because you enjoy it more than anything else on the planet, and you’ve got friends coming to stay with you and you have to clean you house because one of those people is a chick and you feel the need to clean so this chick doesn’t think you’re a total slob even though she probably knows you’re just a stereotypical single guy and not really a slob and she and her husband are pretty much your best friends so you come home and slap the road bike on the trainer and bust out an hour but then realize it’s getting late and you still haven’t done about the cleaning debacle so you run around like a chicken with no head and do a whirlwind cleaning job and then realize that you don’t have anything for your friends to eat and they’re likely going to be hungry in the morning so you jump in the truck and toss two bags of trash in the back and go to the store to get oatmeal and coffee and eggs and toaster pastries for them and when you get back out to the truck in the parking lot you realize that you forgot to take the trash to the trash transfer station, so you swing by there on the way home and when you’re pulling into the transfer station you realize you’ve been behind the same car since you left the grocery store and you hope that the person in front of you doesn’t think you’re following them and when you pull up next to the dumpster you notice the chick that you were “following” is acting like you’re a freak and is noticeably scared when you say “hi there!” to her while you’re tossing bags into the dumpster, and then you realize you’ve probably really terrorized the little co-ed so you shut up and get back into your truck and drive home aaaaaaaaaaaaand then you sit down on the couch at 11:45 at night and write a blog post about it?

Really, you know those days?!

Yeah, me too. I just had one.

(with a nod to Ted King)

Two things:

First, this post is amazing. “Hello Hypocrites. What say ye now?” Sent from a friend and fellow geek at at work. Well done.

Second, is the fucking freakazoids that claim that with the passage of health care reform that the constitution has been “dissolved.”
From the comment section of the above post, comes this buried gem that directly addresses that topic.

Let’s take a look and, just for grins, start from the bottom up.
Congressional pay still regulated? Check.
Voting age still 18? Check.
Presidential succession plan still in place? Check.
Poll tax still prohibited? Check.
DC still part of the electoral college? Check.
Presidents still limited to two terms? Check.
Still able to sell, by, have and consume booze? Check.
Women still able to vote? Check.
Each state still electing two senators? Check.
Congress still able to have an income tax? Check.
Still unable to deny rights based on race, color, or previous condition of servitude. Check.
States still prevented from infringing on constitutional rights? Check.
Definition of citizenship still the same? Check.
States still prohibited from interfering with privileges and immunities? Check.
Due process and equal protection still required? Check.
States still subject to punishment for denying voting rights? Check.
Confederate officials still barred from holding seats in Congress? Check.
Slavery still illegal? Check.
Process for electing president still in place? Check.
States still have immunity from being sued in federal court by someone of another state or country? Check.
States still have powers not prohibited by the Constitution and not assigned to the fed? Check.
Are our rights that are spelled out in the Constitution still not the limit of our rights? Check. (No matter what Rep. Paul Ryan says.)
Are excessive bail and cruel and unusual punishment still prohibited? Check.
Do you still have the right to speedy, public trial by jury? Check.
Still get to have a lawyer and confront your accuser? Check.
Still get to represent yourself in court? Check.
Still able to refuse to testify against yourself? Check.
Still protected from being tried more than once for the same offense? Check.
Still have a right to due process in civil and criminal cases? Check.
Grand jury still required in capital cases? Check.
Still protected from unreasonable searches? Check.
Feds still prohibited from housing soldiers in your home during peacetime? Check.
Still have the right to own and use guns? Check.
Still able to attend the church of your choice and believe as your heart directs you? Check.
Still able to speak your mind? Check. (As we’re doing here.)
The press still able to print or say just about anything it wants to? Check.
Still free to get together with other people? Check.
Still able to try to change a law or rule? Check.

Nope. There all still there.

Yes. Indeed. For as much as I really, really dislike stupidity, I really hate the tinfoil hat wearing conspiracy theorists even more.
I’m sorry that some of us have to pay 3.8% to fund health care for everybody in the country.
Oh.
No.
Wait, NO I’M NOT SORRY AT ALL.

Monday, as I was driving to work at the ever-so-early hour of 10am, a little white (and I mean, bleached white) poodle ran out in front of me.

Recognizing that little bright white dogs don’t often run around unattended, I slowed down to check it out. It didn’t take a detective to see that it (a) looked terrified (b) was obviously an inside dog, and (c) was lost.
So I stopped to check it out, and at the very least, try to get it out of the road. Once I opened the door, the dog practically flew into the truck.
I called the number on the tag: No answer.
Took the little dog home, put it in the (fenced) backyard.
Called again. No answer.
Went to work, called the number again.

Cool enough, at this point I’m thinking that these people, like most people, have jobs and work. Cool enough, So, I bee-bopped around my day, happy in the thought that I saved somebodys dog from getting run over.

Fast forward about an hour.
My neighbor calls my cell phone.
N: “Hey Kenny, it’s (redacted). Are you dog sitting a little white dog?”
K: “Sort of, I picked it up on the side of the road this morning. Why? Is it barking?”
N: “Well, no. Yes. I mean, I don’t know. There’s a giant black dog, standing on the other side of your fence that really wants to be with the little white dog. That’s the one that’s barking. It’s running back and forth between your place and ours, and it’s a really nice dog….”

It’s at this point that I begin to wonder if I’ve entered some sort of weird literary time warp thing, where I’m now Dr. Dolittle and I’ve collected Jip the dog. So what’s next? Birds, fish and monkeys?

Kaylee and I talked a bit more and decided that if the gigantic horsedog and the little mini white poodle wanted to spend time together, then, hell, who are we to argue?
I told her to lead the horsedog through the house into the side yard.
According to the (redacted), it was an immediate cuddlefest. (ok, say “oh…….awwww…..”….)
Yeah. Cute. Dolittle. Ugh. Anyway.

I get home and call again the number of the little white dog’s tag, in hopes that these people actually own TWO dogs. No answer.
By this time, I’m starting to think these people just don’t care about their dog, which aggravates me a little bit.

So I google the phone number. BINGO! I get a name. I google the name.
*sigh*
Google brings up several links that contain this guys name.
One of which was a staff listing at his office. SCORE!
So I clicked on it. Then I realized that one of my riding buddys’ wives not only worked for the same company, but also in the same office.

A quick call to them discovered that the dog owner was out of town, so someone was likely dogsitting for them!
Which explains why they didn’t call me back…….

So, at this point, I’m thinking there’s no way the person who’s dogsitting is going to check the dog owners voicemail at home, so I’m resigning myself to being a three dog household until the owner gets back.

An hour later, there’s a knock on my front door. Strange guy, strange truck standing on the porch says “um, hey, hi, but I think you have my dogs in your backyard. I’m dogsitting for my brother-in-law and his dog and mine ran away this morning….”

Turns out the little white dog belongs to the guy that’s out of town, and the horsedog belongs to this other guy.

Mystery solved.

Long and involved story to say that I picked up a dog and saved it from getting run over on Monday.

There’s a person I work with that’s very nice.
This person is a conservative, and that suits them just fine.
This person isn’t what I would call stupid, exactly.. This person is open to believing (due to a mixture of insecurity and blind faith) other people are naturally “smarter” than they are. ‘Cause like, duh, after all, they’re on _television_ and everything, so they *MUST* be right.

I mention this person because I “caught” them using a significant amount of bandwidth the other day to watch TV show.
Yes, at work.
Yup, this person was watching TV at work. Odd. Sure. But whatever. I mean, we all read the news or check our bank accounts or post tweets or update our blogs.

I think watching TV is a bit over the top, though. I heard the audio playing, recognized it as something that wasn’t all that work appropriate, so I knocked on this persons door and asked them what they were laughing at.

This person told me that they were watching “Glenn Beck”. This person then looked at me like I had three heads when I didn’t recognize the name. eh….right. I’ll admit that I was so dumbfounded at this persons blatant disregard for the rules that I didn’t say anything about it. She did mention that she was now a member of his “extreme insider” mail list, or something else that I didn’t pay attention to. At that point, I was just wondering how this person justified ignoring what was is a pretty simple rule that says “Don’t watch streaming video via the state network.”

So I left without engaging them in any sort of argument or reprimand. Now, I’m glad I handled it that way, because I realized later that the people that watch this guy are fucking batshit insane.

I went and looked this “Glenn Beck” person up. Evidently, he’s some FOX News(?) talk show host. Sort of like Palin is now, I guess? I guess FOX is out to hire those kind of people? I don’t know. I don’t have a TV. Anyway, he’s one of those people that says the same things over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over in hopes that if he says it enough, somebody will believe him.
Evidently, there are people just that stupid.

One of the things I found while looking up this person was their idea that we should all think and act on 9/12/2001.
Ya know, like, when nobody knew anything.

He’s got this list of things that he claims all “good” Americans should think.

1. America is good. 

No, America isn’t good.
America is country, and therefore can’t be “good” or “bad”
Forgiving your stupidity for a moment, I realize what you’re really trying to say is that “Americans are good!”
Which I also don’t agree with. By and large, they’re selfish, greedy, egocentric, materialistic, and generally poorly educated about anything that goes on outside their own borders.


2. I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life. 

Um. No. Sorry, I don’t believe that.


3. I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday. 

This is only an issue with people who are innately dishonest.
Look, you are either honest, or you’re not.
You can’t be “more dead”. You’re either dead, or not.
You can’t be “more wrong” Again, you’re either wrong or not.
One cannot be “more honest”

4. The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government. 

I’m not married. Does this exclude me?
More importantly, I only ask this because I know something of your claimed “religion”, is your god supposed to be your ultimate authority?
Just sayin’…..
(edit 09/15/10: I also note that you say “spouse”. Nice jab there, considering that you wouldn’t consider two lesbians to be “spouses”)


5. If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it.
That’s a great idea. But the last time I checked, (which was about 2 minutes ago) if you’re rich, you don’t go to jail no matter what you do. Seems to me you’re not in jail, even though you’re a totally cokehead.
Great way to get the “common” people to rally together, though!

6. I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal rights. 

Are you fucking kidding me?
No guarantee of equal rights?
Oh, only white people get rights?

“Gosh darn it, those people don’t look like me or talk like me, so they must be evil. I heard that them people that wear those towel things on their heads and talk in that jibber jabber are evil and mean. Oh, oh, and get this, they don’t believe in God, neither. Must be some of them terrorists.”

Fuck you.

7. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.
Can someone please explain to me how you can force someone to be charitable? If it’s forced, it’s not charity, dumbass. But that’s OK, you’re not really interested in facts and definitions. You’re rallying people behind you….for what? To make yourself richer? The sad thing is that the people that follow you aren’t smart enough to see that you’re an entertainer. Like Chuck Norris, minus the awesomeness.


8. It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion. 

OK. I can go with this one. The problem is that you won’t agree with this when the machine swings to the right. Then, all of a sudden, it’ll be unamerican to disagree. Like, say, when I said “The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are nothing more than a man with a small dick proving that he can keep up with Daddy.”
Seems to me that your conservative friends didn’t have a problem with killing people then….
Why? Because stupid fucks like you had them convinced that those conflicts were retaliatory for 9/11.


9. The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me.
That’s all well and good. Don’t pay taxes for a year or two. We’ll see who answers to who then.

That’s as far as I got. There’s more, but at this point I no longer cared.
Person at work wastes my bandwidth at work listening to Glenn Beck, who is batshit fucking insane.

It’s been exactly two weeks since I told myself (and all of you) that I was done drinking. After going though three bottles of whisky in 13 days, I figured that I should probably scale back. A lot. That’s seriously a lot of drinking, and I didn’t like that it was becoming *normal* to come home and drink that much.

So here’s what I’ve learned.

1. I cheated and drank ONE beer with Papp four nights in.
2. Drinking is expensive!
3. I sleep better when I don’t drink.
4. People look at me funny when I tell them that I’m not drinking anymore.
5. Alcohol has a lot of calories.
6. It wasn’t difficult to not drink.

OK, so I know a lot of you think I’m nuts.
I don’t care.
We’ll see who’s laughing when zombies are licking the inside of your skull.

Zombism is caused by the virus Solanum. Solanum works by traveling through the bloodstream, from the initial point of entry to the brain.

Through means not yet fully understood, the virus uses the cells of the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex for replication, destroying them in the process. During this period, all bodily functions cease. By stopping the heart, the infected subject is rendered “dead.” This process takes anywhere between 5 minutes and 2 hours. At this point, we’re not sure why it varies between individuals. Further research is ongoing, but is limited by the high morbidity rate of researchers.

The rest of the brain, however, remains alive but dormant, while the virus mutates its cells into a completely new organ. The most critical trait of this new organ is its independence from oxygen. By removing the need for this all-important resource, the undead brain can utilize, but is in no way dependent upon, the complex support mechanism of the human body. We strongly suspect that this is related to the fact that zombies are not dependent upon ATP production for the creation of muscle movement.

Once mutation is complete, this new organ reanimates the body into a form that bears little resemblance (physiologically speaking) to the original corpse. Some bodily functions remain constant, others operate in a modified capacity, and the remainder shut down completely.

This new organism is a zombie, a member of the living dead.

And it will fuck your day up.

Tree-hugging, peace-loving
Pot-smoking, porn-watching
Lazy-ass hippies like me

Warning: Don’t listen to that link if you think that the solution to the world economic issues will be solved by electing the mother of a retard president.

Song by Todd Snider.

“….It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat……”

The pictures of a good day.

Posted this to twitter yesterday:

Why are women so fucking complicated? Just say what you mean. I can’t read your fucking mind. Dropping a random subtle hint won’t ever work.

If you want a Blueberry muffin, then say “Will you bring me a blueberry muffin?” I’ll be _more_ than happy to bring you one. That would make my day, in fact. To see you smile and enjoy eating a blueberry muffin would be the highlight of my otherwise droll and unimportant day. Why? Because there’s no confusion involved in that statement. Hell, even simplify it further and say “Please me eat Muffin. Blueberry. Now. Please.”

Do not say: “My grandmother used lard when she made blueberry muffins.”
That will not magically lead me to deduce that you’re craving a muffin and you’d like me to bring you one, along with a lowfat major minor grande latte spiced coffee drink thing.

If you talk about your grandmother using lard to make muffins and I’ll think about—wait for it—hold on—-YES! I WILL THINK ABOUT YOUR GRANDMOTHER USING LARD TO MAKE MUFFINS. Then I will stop thinking about that, and move on how people made lard, and where it comes from, and how nasty it is. Then I will move on to the cows on the farm in North Carolina, and how my Grandmother grew up there, and her brother made me a milking stool.

And I’ll respond and say “Hm. That’s cool. My great-uncle made me a milking stool when I was a kid.”

Do you know what that means?? THAT MEANS YOU WILL NOT GET A FUCKING MUFFIN.

Why? Because you didn’t say anything about wanting a muffin. You said that your grandmother used lard when she made muffins. That’s it. Zip. That’s it. Your grandmother making muffins will not make me remember that you told me 8 months ago that you like your blueberry muffins warmed to 103.8*, and that you feel neglected at 7:30 in the damn morning and that a blueberry muffin would make you feel better about the fact that it’s 20 below and dark and you’re hungry.

Then you’ll get pissed off, and tell me that I’m not listening to you. The fact of the matter is that I AM listening to exactly what you’re saying. YOU ARE NOT BEING CLEAR. Don’t drop hints. If you want a muffin, speak the fuck up and say so! I am not responsible for your lack of clarity. It’s unrealistic, unfair, and generally stupid that you expect me to magically take a statement about lard and turn it into “Go get me a muffin, please.”

“Bring me a blueberry muffin” So fucking simple…..and your gender makes it so incredibly complex.

I don’t hate women, really. I like women. I just get tired of women who cannot, for whatever reason, say what they mean.

This likely won’t invoke the same response for a lot of you that it did for me. Still, I feel like sharing. Perhaps because it’s 3 in the morning and I can’t sleep. I dunno. Here’s the vid.

It’s not that I hate Palin. It’s not that I think she’s a complete idiot. It’s that she knows she’s an idiot, and simply doesn’t care. Palin believing she needed to write down (…answers to basic questions…) is the political equivalent of reminding yourself to breathe.

*sigh*

I say this here and now. If Palin wins any manner of nomination, I’m going to move out of the US. I’ll move to Nepal permanently. Not “if she wins the general election.” If she wins any nomination. Why? This will be the final turning point for this country–and it will go downhill quickly. The democrats could nominate Elmer Fudd and he’d win if Palin is nominated because she’s so utterly incompetent.
That’s not how the system should work.

(A) You people are fucking crazy.
(B) Take a larger dose of lithium next time.
(C) Choose someone _sane_ as your spokesperson next time.

So, for those of you that don’t keep up:

There are whackjobs out there that either don’t like the fact that Obama’s black, that his middle name isn’t “Robert”, that he’s not a stupid cunt named “Sarah”, or that he’s a democrat.

Whatever–these people have a name now, other than whackjob–”Birthers”. Ugh. So the dumbshit in the video above came out with this birth certificate that says that Obama was born in Kenya. Ugh. It got press, but it was press of the “Hey, look at this crazy bitch!” type.
For obvious reasons, I think.

I dunno about you, but if you want something investigated, send it to the press. Seriously. There’s nothing that the press does that’s worth much of anything, but those fuckers know how to find out if you’re telling the truth or not. So come to find out, this crazy bitch from above copied the stuff from, get this—an AUSTRALIAN—birth certificate and changed key elements, say, like the name. But it doesn’t take much to find out that it’s a fake……Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

This video sums a lot of things up, The commentator calls the whackjob bitch by the wrong name. Hilarious. Best laugh I’ve had in quite some time.

(Edit: OH MY FUCKING GOD, I would _pay_ to be this entertained.)